The Perks of Being A Monarch
by The Lady More
Summary: Henry VIII tells us of an alternate history where Katherine of Aragon agrees to a divorce and eagerly lets Anne Boleyn take her place under some conditions and how a fatherly relationship between a King and his tutor changes one man's historic grizzly end
1. Intro

_**Alright when I first started Perks, I was originally going to go a cannon route. However with my introduction to the alternate historical fiction genre and my creation of non cannon pairings (Henwell, Brane etc.) took my plot all over the place. Now that I have a solid outline I decided to restart the plot. Seriously I am self conscious over this baby I want this novel to become so big….that I want a movie adaptation.**__**Summary:**__** In a series of vignettes Henry VIII tells us of an alternate history where Katherine of Aragon agrees to a divorce and eagerly lets Anne Boleyn take her place as long she is allowed to marry another. Many fates are changed as a result of this including the brilliant moral Sir Thomas Moore, Henry's mentor and father figure. When Henry thinks his life is going well, a strange turn of events that involve Sir Thomas and a freaky spiritual connection will change history forever.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** If this were true, then I would be god and history would be a hell of a lot different.**_

**_Warnings: Sex, Violence, Langauge and Homosexuality_**

_**And now without further ado….**_

The Perks Of Being A Monarch (Revised Edition)

_Dear whoever is taking their gracious time to read my story,_

_This is no trick but my name is Henry Tudor (you could also call me Harry if you so please) and I am (probably was if you are reading this after I am stashed away in the family crypt for eternity) the King of England. I am writing a story of my first two marriages and the chaotic events surrounding them. When I mean chaotic I mean reputations crumbling, abductions and random rescues, Christendom flipping on its head and people losing heads. About myself? Well you'll find out more about me later in this tale._

_Why am I writing this story you may ask? Well hopefully to teach you all a lesson in love, life, family and of course politics. Hopefully you won't make the same mistakes I have or at least be prepared and wary of the people around you._

_Hopefully you didn't put this book down yet because my story hasn't even started. Well before I bore you with this letter I might as well end it. I hope you enjoy my rather darkly humorous romantic eerie tale and learn from my mistakes because well, we don't want history to repeat itself right?_

_Sincerely,_

_Your Majesty King Henry the 8__th_

**Introduction:**

_**May 19**__**th**__** 1536**_

The story starts with me standing on the verge of life and death. I had the choice to let a innocent man die or jump in his place. There were times where I was on the verge of death before, but those were silly instances like failed attempts of jumping over ditches, injuries during jousting matches and various other foolish attempts to be reckless.

If I had decided to jump this would be foolish recklessness since I brought myself situation. But I would have my reasons: to be remembered as a selfless hero rather than a narcissistic villain, to clean up the mess I created, and to die in the place of a man who I looked up to as a father. At least I was to die a worthy cause.

"Any last words Sir Thomas?" The villain said cocking the musket.

His victim was standing against the wall. Hands were bound behind him at the wrists with a thick rope. His face was bloody and bruised. But he stood upright tall, keeping in all his bravery. Despite the fact I was hidden behind a curtain our eyes managed to meet for one moment. He didn't need to speak to me for his eyes said it all:

_Don't be a martyr Harry._

He took a deep breath and faced his assailant. And with his expression not changing he finally uttered:

"I die the King's most faithful servant, but God's first."

He didn't even finish his sentence when I began to run in front of him. I wasn't going to let him die not like this. And as each foot touched the ground bringing me further towards death I began to think of the events that led up to this cruel fate…..


	2. The Voice of Reason

_**Okay so you know the reason for my revision of this story. But as soon as I wrote chapter one of my revision I realized I didn't know how to get to point A to point B so I went into my bat cave and made a whole solid outline of….it's eight pages but I am almost down….so without further ado….planned and confirm here is my Magnum Opus which I hope to be the next big book series phenomenon (I swear to god I hope this thing gets so big that everyone will drop the team Edward and Jacob and start declaring their loyalties to Team Henry and Moore) PS. Remember this is an alternate Tudor reality there is going to be alot of changes to the events even events leading to the main plot of the story. **_

**The Voice of Reason:**

_Where there's truth you know I'll be there  
__Amongst the lies you know I'll be there  
__I'll go anywhere so I'll see you there  
_

_I don't care if you don't mind  
__I'll be there not far behind  
__I will dare  
__Keep in mind  
__I'll be there for you_

~Green Day-Poprocks and Coke

_**November 10**__**th**__** 1528**_

"SHE WHAT?" I roared throwing my goblet full of ale and Doctor Linacre. The man ducked so the silver goblet hit the wall causing a loud crashing sound, "YOU TOLD ME THAT THIS PREGNANCY WOULD BE SUCESSFUL."

The room became silent after that for a few moments other than breathing and Cardinal Wolsey my Lord Chancellor mumbling in the ear of my servant. The servant quickly left closing the door quietly behind him. Meanwhile I was fuming. I falsely believed that I, King Henry the Eighth would finally have a son by springtime. Again I was lied to and I was ready to strangle Linacre with my bare hands. The fact the fool was speechless didn't help his cause.

"ARE YOU MUTE YOU FOOL ANSWER ME GOD DAMNIT!" I growled now grabbing the physician by the collar and slamming him against the wall.

The door flew wide open and a man who often dressed only in black, who will you will see the most throughout this story dear reader, came charging in. This was my voice of reason.

"Harry…." He said calmly and quietly, "put Doctor Linacre down."

I growl and threw Linacre to the ground. He got up dusted himself off before cowardly bowing and running out the door.

"Wolsey, I think it would be best if you left Harry and I alone," my voice of reason says again. My back was turned to both men but I could tell Wolsey left in a huff. The man never liked to be told what to do.

I finally take a deep breath and turn to face my voice of reason after a long agonizing moment of silence between us.

"Why don't we go for a walk Sir Thomas?"

* * *

Now you may wonder dear reader, who is this voice of reason? Why is he so important to me? Is he a real person or just a figment of my twisted little imagination of mine?

Well I can tell you dear reader he is real and he is quite in fact well known throughout, court, the country and the world mainly because of his contribution to this new wave of thought known as humanism.

His name is Sir Thomas Moore, lawyer, writer of the famous work _**Utopia**_, philosopher, pious Catholic, humanist and a shit load of other things I cannot think of at the top of my head at the moment. But what he is well known for was being my top advisor. Why do you ask dear reader? Sir Thomas has what none of these fools that called themselves courtiers thought they had…..the ability to understand my feelings and the ability to actually be….honest with yours truly.

I first met Sir Thomas when I was 12 years old, during one of my many hissy fits as a child. This one came about after I found out I was to be King of England…..

_**April 3 1502, Whitehall**_

My father had called me to his office late one evening. By that point, I never really had a man to man conversation with my father. I was never taught about love, desire, government for I had one pathway I was forced to embark on…..marrying the church and becoming a cleric. I already knew that plan was going to backfire because already I was having desires of the flesh.

My father did not want anything to do with me basically because I was not going to be King….or so I thought.

As I walked the halls to my father's office I noticed the palace was eerily quiet. As if someone had died and they were all in a state of mourning. I thought nothing of it just that if I stopped to see what was going on….then I would get in trouble.

After a walk that seemed like hours I arrived to my father's office.

"_His highness, Prince Henry Duke of York, your majesty."_

I knew something was wrong the moment I walked into that room. My father was sitting on the sofa by the fire. I wondered what was wrong. Was it me? Was it my brothers and sisters? Were they aright? Or my mother? I knew my world would fall apart if something happened to her. Thousands of questions ran through my mind as I walked over to my father and bowed.

"Your majesty," I said with a squeaky little voice.

I will never forget the look my father gave me as soon as spoke. It was full of rage and anger. It was quiet between us for a moment before my father threw his empty goblet to the side.

"I am in no mood to make some long speech," He said waving his hand through the air, "so I am just going to get right to it…your brother Arthur's dead."

I blinked and for a moment said nothing. I was sad about Arthur's death because it was rather unexpected. But the same time I was at peace with it. Arthur was always sick. And when he was sick he suffered and what I mean by suffered he was in pain. There were days he was in agony and couldn't even sit up. I knew now Arthur was in a place where there was no pain and he would never suffer again.

Upon this piece of news I realized there was something else that was to come of this. A challenge I never even dreamed at the time I would take on.

"Father, does this mean I am going to be king?" I said.

Instead of the answer of yes he gave me the rude gesture. He clapped his hands as if he were applauding.

"Very good Henry," He said, "I thought you would be too stupid to figure that out."

Upon that comment I winced. I was used to Father's abusive words by then, but the fact that he was acting this way upon telling me I was to take on the responsibility of ruling a country hurt.

"You don't think I will make a good king father?" I said tears starting to sting in my eyes.

He chuckled.

"Of course I don't," He said, "you are unprepared, you make nothing but trouble and you have the attention span of an untrained dog. You are going to ruin this country! Especially since you had no training whatsoever."

I suddenly began to cry. As the tears spilt down my cheeks I began to walk backwards. I needed to leave the room. I needed to lock myself away. How could a father not believe his son could do great things?

"Don't you cry Henry," Father scoffed, "King's don't cry it shows they're weak."

I didn't listen to him I just winced and ran out the door.

* * *

I spent that night in my room crying. I didn't want anyone to bother me and disturb me during my sorrow. I don't know how long it had been until I heard my bedchamber door creak open. I then heard the voices of two men having a conversation.

"You seriously think that you can teach that boy how to be a king," I cringe when I hear that voice…..it is my father's.

"You underestimate him my lord," Another voice I did not recognize. I knew it was male, but it had a stark contrast to my father's. It was soft and comforting, "he can be a great king if you believe in him. Right now majesty I do not mean to offend but you are scaring him, look at the poor child he's shaking."

I suddenly stop crying just a little and move my head sideways so I could get a slight view of the two men speaking. I catch a glimpse of the man who I thought was some guardian angel coming to protect me. He wasn't at all dressed fancy. He wore all black, black flat cap, black doublet, black hose, and black boots. My eyes were still watering so I couldn't see him clearly.

I suddenly hear a growl from my father.

"See this is why I think you would be compatible with my boy," Father mumbled, "you are just as rebellious as he is….I seriously wish you luck Sir Thomas, if you can turn this boy into a king I will see to it that you receive a Dukedom…I'll leave you to get to know him."

And with that my father stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut.

I had a little more information on this mysterious man. His name was Thomas, which upon hearing that I think great another Thomas to confuse with others, and he was going to be my tutor. My thoughts were then interrupted by the bed sinking in and a soft hand on my back and a hushing noise.

"It's alright," He whispered, "he's gone now and he has no right to treat you the way he did. You are going to be a great king, you just need to learn and I will help you I promise."

I lift my head up slightly. No one had ever acted so fatherly to me before. It was something I was not used to. Not even thinking how to react I crawl over to the man and lay my head on his lap.

I first thought when I did that he was going to push me away. But he didn't. He just ran his hand down my back.

"I'm Henry but you can call me Harry," I said looking up at him, "will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone."

He looked down at me with a smile.

"Of course Harry," He replied.

I had begun to like this man even more already, he actually listened to me.

"And what's your name sir," I replied nuzzling my head into his lap.

He took a deep breath and sighed,

"Thomas Moore."

_**November 10**__**th**__** 1528 Roof of Whitehall Palace**_

Of course dear reader you can probably guess what happened next. Because here we were on the roof of Whitehall doing what we often did….talked.

"IT'S NOT FAIR THOMAS," I growled pacing back and forth waving my arms in the air like a fool, "Brandon has a son, you have a son, hell even Wolsey who is supposed to be married to the church has a son. But do I have son…no!"

"You do remember Harry," Sir Thomas replied standing completely still with his hands folded in front of him, "I had three daughters before God granted me with John…and besides Harry you have a son already from that mistress of yours…what was her name….Bessie?"

If you didn't realize it already my dear reader…I was no saint. I had plenty of affairs with women by then. It was because there are times I craved sex and there were times Katherine couldn't satisfy me because she was pregnant. One of which would be Bessie Blount managed to give me what Katherine couldn't give me….a son. The problem was I wasn't married to her.

Now if Katherine and I didn't have that string of bad luck when it came to siring children…I wouldn't be as frustrated. When I mean bad luck I mean….one child who died when he was a month old…a few miscarriages….and I don't think you will believe this a true story but it is…..Katherine and my first daughter….Princess Margaret was stolen from her bed when she was three days old by Plantagenet Traitors. Fucking Plantagenets!

We did manage to have one daughter…Mary who I favor even over the daughter I had with Anne in the future. The snake-devil that I had for a wife probably figured that out when she first arrived in hell.

But still I started to believe God was cursing us by giving us no son.

"Yeah I know Thomas," I sigh whilst stopping my pacing, "but I cannot put that illegitimate boy before Mary…I love her too much. And may I add Thomas that you are just as fertile as the soil used to grow various crops. You were bound to have a son eventually. Hell I am still shocked you got Alice pregnant and she is almost at full term with carrying the child. Wasn't she supposed to have stopped her courses years ago?"

Sir Thomas couldn't help but chuckle as he walked next to me.

"Believe me Harry I am still questioning how a miracle like that could happen," He said, "but god works in mysterious ways. I wanted a son just as badly as you did, even if I managed to only have daughters I did want a son of my own. But I was patient and I prayed, that's why I named him John, he is as the meaning of his name a gift from god. He is the light to come out of my wife's death."

I turn my head towards him.

"Do you think faith will get me a son?" I said.

He then pointed out into the horizon where the stars were shining brightly.

"Or you can wish upon a star," Sir Thomas replied with a chuckle.

It sounded insane but I thought it would work so I closed my eyes.

_Please, _I thought to myself, _I don't care what happens give me a son!_

Unfortunately…that wish upon a star led me somewhere else, and not in the direction I was praying for.

_**Next Up:**__** A tragedy leaves Moore with a healthy daughter….but turns him into a widow again. Henry meanwhile meets wife number two through his god son's friend from Oxford George Boleyn but at a strange time. We are also introduced to Katherine of Aragon who Henry notices gives a bit too much comfort to a grieving Thomas Moore.**_

_**Review and there shall be cookies in your future. **_


End file.
